Prepare For Nap-Time With A Timer

Do you appreciate routine?  Do you have a general schedule that you follow each day (i.e., eat breakfast around the same general time each day, lunch, dinner, etc)?  Does your employer give you a set time for lunch or do you set your own lunch time?  How do you feel when someone calls you into an impromptu meeting?  Do you prefer to have meetings scheduled in advance?

As adults, we have learned the kindness of preparation and knowing expectations. For some reason, we forget that children need it even more. One way we can help prepare our children (mentally, physically and emotionally) for change is to utilize a VISUAL timer.  The VISUAL component is essential. Visual memory is often stronger than auditory- especially for kiddos. :)

Free Online Visual Timer















Steve and I started using the online VISUAL timer when Norah was 18 months old. We would set it for 20 minutes and show her the timer/clock.  Our script: "Norah, do you see the clock?  You have 20 minutes to play and have fun, Sweetie.  When the (color: red, green, etc) goes away it's time for books and bed."  We would repeat this a couple times - as we reminded her of the time left on the clock.

She LOVES it!  The timer gives us the option of changing sounds (applause, beep, etc) as well as the color that's displayed. We adjust the time to fit the needs of the moment.  When the applause sounds we change her diaper, put on her PJ's and then go into her room to read.  Sometimes she's already dressed for bed and just runs into her room after the timer is finished.  Having that preparation is extremely helpful for anyone.  It's kind and it's respectful. :)

"Will I/we need to do this for EVERY nap and bedtime?"

No :).  Just like us/adults, we need to learn what is expected of us (work, in relationships, etc.) and then we are able to operate more freely/naturally without reminders.  If we say to Norah, "Norah, we are leaving the library in 10 minutes" and give her updates every few minutes on how much time is left...she doesn't appear to need the visual.  She now seems to understand that we are giving her a "heads-up" on how much time is left before _______.   We still use the visual timer most evenings for bedtime but it is not always necessary. 

You know your son or daughter better than anyone... You'll do wonderfully!!

Please don't hesitate to share any questions and or suggestions you have!

Sincerely,
Meridith

Mealtime Visual Instructions

During my time as a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) in the schools, it was quickly gleaned how powerful visual tools are for children.  When we begin a new job or venture (i.e., vocation, marriage, etc.) it is critical that we define expectations/boundaries- both those expected of us in addition to those we have for others.  For example, it is your first day at work and your boss leaves for vacation.  Her words to you are, "Don't let me down!  See you in a week."  Some might view this as smooth-sailing ("Whoo-hoo, the boss is gone!"), but I will wager that a majority of us would feel a truck-load of stress due to undefined expectations.

We need things given to us more literally in the beginning.  Our tasks need to be operationally defined. However, as time goes on we can operate more abstractly as well as infer more freely.  We might expect others to say, "hi" when we greet them but that doesn't always happen.  Our expectations can change but we have more control over them.  The expectations of others- peers, co-workers, authority figures, etc can vacillate as well... and those we are not able to control.  Defining expectations is both kind and helpful.  Children need the same guidance and feedback.

Let's look at some very simple visual templates that might define expectations at mealtime.  There are currently 3 templates per meal.  A check-box is provided for each bite that your son or daughter takes.  Checking them all in is the ultimate goal.

With children, our speech and language needs to be soft, respectful and literal.  For example, share your expectation, rule, etc without saying, "ok" afterwards ("We are going to eat breakfast now, ok?").  "We are going to eat breakfast."  You can do this with a smile in-place-of "OK."  Adding "ok" gives your kiddo a choice in a situation that isn't a choice.  It's a hard habit to break but helpful for you both because it doesn't add any vagueness to the direction.

Another helpful way of communicating a direction is be defining the target behavior:  "Keep the food on the placement" vs "Don't throw your food."  Our kiddos hear the last part of what we say and do not catch the passive parts of speech easily (i.e. not, don't, etc).  Getting to the heart of what they are doing is the goal:  Are they discovering, exploring, bored, tired, or feeling defiant?  Sharing expectations with respect, clear wording and modeling is extremely important.

Here we go!!

"Hon, we are going to eat breakfast! What would you like to eat first? (give choice among what you have ready).  We are going to eat ___ bites this morning.  Would you like to eat more than ___?"

Show him or her the picture and act-out what they will be doing.  If you have an video-camera, it would be incredibly powerful to video-tape him or her eating and how the boxes on the template are checked after each bite.  This is something he or she can watch anytime as to show ability and success.

Do you have any questions?  I realize that life is not this simple and that complexities jump into the picture regarding behavior.  You are your child's parent and know him or her best.  Customize this to what suits the situation.

Happy eating!!

Sincerely,
Meridith

Visuals to Assist with Meals: Dinner

Visuals To Assist With Meals: Breakfast

Visuals To Assist With Meals: Lunch