Mealtime Visual Instructions

During my time as a Speech-Language Pathologist (SLP) in the schools, it was quickly gleaned how powerful visual tools are for children.  When we begin a new job or venture (i.e., vocation, marriage, etc.) it is critical that we define expectations/boundaries- both those expected of us in addition to those we have for others.  For example, it is your first day at work and your boss leaves for vacation.  Her words to you are, "Don't let me down!  See you in a week."  Some might view this as smooth-sailing ("Whoo-hoo, the boss is gone!"), but I will wager that a majority of us would feel a truck-load of stress due to undefined expectations.

We need things given to us more literally in the beginning.  Our tasks need to be operationally defined. However, as time goes on we can operate more abstractly as well as infer more freely.  We might expect others to say, "hi" when we greet them but that doesn't always happen.  Our expectations can change but we have more control over them.  The expectations of others- peers, co-workers, authority figures, etc can vacillate as well... and those we are not able to control.  Defining expectations is both kind and helpful.  Children need the same guidance and feedback.

Let's look at some very simple visual templates that might define expectations at mealtime.  There are currently 3 templates per meal.  A check-box is provided for each bite that your son or daughter takes.  Checking them all in is the ultimate goal.

With children, our speech and language needs to be soft, respectful and literal.  For example, share your expectation, rule, etc without saying, "ok" afterwards ("We are going to eat breakfast now, ok?").  "We are going to eat breakfast."  You can do this with a smile in-place-of "OK."  Adding "ok" gives your kiddo a choice in a situation that isn't a choice.  It's a hard habit to break but helpful for you both because it doesn't add any vagueness to the direction.

Another helpful way of communicating a direction is be defining the target behavior:  "Keep the food on the placement" vs "Don't throw your food."  Our kiddos hear the last part of what we say and do not catch the passive parts of speech easily (i.e. not, don't, etc).  Getting to the heart of what they are doing is the goal:  Are they discovering, exploring, bored, tired, or feeling defiant?  Sharing expectations with respect, clear wording and modeling is extremely important.

Here we go!!

"Hon, we are going to eat breakfast! What would you like to eat first? (give choice among what you have ready).  We are going to eat ___ bites this morning.  Would you like to eat more than ___?"

Show him or her the picture and act-out what they will be doing.  If you have an video-camera, it would be incredibly powerful to video-tape him or her eating and how the boxes on the template are checked after each bite.  This is something he or she can watch anytime as to show ability and success.

Do you have any questions?  I realize that life is not this simple and that complexities jump into the picture regarding behavior.  You are your child's parent and know him or her best.  Customize this to what suits the situation.

Happy eating!!

Sincerely,
Meridith